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The Boyfriend Prospect (BFP) and The Hot Sex Prospect (HSP). Yes – these are two different guys!

Let me break it down for you in the universal language of, um, good TV shows. If you’re a Glee fan, then the BFP is Finn and the HSP is Puck. If you’re a Lost fan, then the BFP is Jack and the HSP is Sawyer. If you’re a Friday Night Lights fan, then the BFP is Jason Street and the HSP is Tim Riggins. Okay, that’s not entirely true – I’d let Tim Riggins be whichever guy in my gaggle he wanted to be. But you get my point.

Like Rachel, Kate and Lyla, are you also exploring relationships with these two types of guys? Read on to find out…

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The Boyfriend Prospect

This guy is legitimate. He’s really making an effort to get to know you, and you’ve both been taking it (relatively) slow. If you were to introduce him to people as your boyfriend, you’re pretty sure they would think, “Ah, yes, that’s exactly the kind of guy that I expected her to end up with.” You have a lot in common, and he seems to be lacking the blazing warning signs that accompany most of the guys you like. You’re not exactly writing his name all over your notebooks or declaring relationship status on Facebook yet, but The Boyfriend Prospect is the one to watch.

You might feel some pressure surrounding The Boyfriend Prospect, as you recently let your excitement get the best of you and have mentioned him, albeit briefly and with a choreographed nonchalance, to your friends, parents and that cool girl at your cousin’s birthday party. Of course, you’ll be the most disappointed if he ends up flaking in some major way after you’ve allowed yourself a few 10-second daydreams about joining his family for their next annual ski weekend or showing him off at your upcoming college reunion. But you also know that he will be the guy everyone asks you about until they hear that you officially are or are not dating. Here’s hoping that he continues to be as great as he has seemed so far!

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The Hot Sex Prospect

You don’t really want to have dinner with this guy. You like to think that you’re a good listener and that you really care about the people around you, but to be totally honest, the idea of sitting down for a meal with The Hot Sex Prospect and talking about his job, parents, life goals and personal hobbies already starts your mind drifting. You probably don’t have a lot in common with him, and he is likely missing at least one of the key characteristics that you expect from a relationship candidate: a baseline level of intelligence, a quirky sense of humor, a steady job, etc.

However, you and The Hot Sex Prospect share a physical chemistry and a sense of sexual possibility that defies your differences. You have a strong hunch that, given a few moments of privacy and a loss of inhibition, you two would have incredibly hot sex without any of the hang-ups or mishaps that can plague first-time hookups. Maybe it’s the overt flirtatiousness in your exchanges or the electricity that leaves you feeling a little lightheaded each time you touch, but there is a purely sexual energy between you and The Hot Sex Prospect that is begging to be explored.

In certain cases, the Hot Sex Prospect can remain a prospect even after you’ve finally hooked up with him. Although no promises were made at the time, a successful first encounter may leave you wanting to test the waters of a repeat rendezvous (or five). Of course, the road from one-night stand to regular booty call is a tricky one cluttered with hurt feelings and broken hearts. But managed well, this is a friends-with-benefits situation that could actually work because, in truth, you don’t really care about being friends.

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May 5, 2010

0 F-YEAH! F-YEAH!