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One of the key perks of having a gaggle is that it allows you to explore different sides of yourself – with the ultimate goal of figuring out who your ideal self is and what kind of guy will encourage you to become that woman. When do you feel the most comfortable and genuine? When you’re remembering the nurturing girlfriend you were with your Ex-Boyfriend Who’s Still Around? Or when your Ego Booster treats you like a princess? Or when you play the part of sexual temptress around your Hot Sex Prospect? And is your Boyfriend Prospect the guy who makes you feel like the perfect mix of all three?

While you’re trying to sort this all out, along come the next two guys – The Career Booster and The Super Horny Guy Who Happens To Be Around A Lot. They couldn’t be more different, and they bring out totally different sides of you as well. One compels you to be the intelligent and ambitious career woman that you were raised to be, while the other…hey, at some point or another, everyone has found themselves standing on a table belting out “Don’t Stop Believin’” to a bar full of revelers, right? Right??

Let’s just hope that you never end up in a room with both guys at the same time…

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The Career Booster

In a brave new world where the US President supports equal pay and women are finally (finally!) filling the top ranks of Fortune 500 companies, a woman’s professional network has never been more vital to her success. Enter The Career Booster – a professional contact who offers access to power, resources, inside information and/or an expanded network in exchange for a little extra attention. This guy may work three cubicles down from you or in an office three times your size across the country, but regardless of the mileage, you know that stopping by his desk on Monday morning to chat about his weekend or emailing him with a quick congratulations on his team’s latest success may lead to a tip on the company’s exciting new project, a coveted spot as his +1 to the latest buzz band’s concert, or an invitation to grab drinks with him and his friend, a young web designer with whom he thinks you’ll really click. You may not be attracted to The Career Booster, or you may simply be resistant to engaging in a romantic entanglement so close to the office. But you figure that a little flirting is harmless and all part of breaking into the boys’ club that still dominates most industries.

The Career Booster is also the guy at your office who makes your workday just a little bit easier. You can always depend on him to let you cut the line at the photocopier, grab you a mid-afternoon coffee on his way back from lunch, or listen to you vent when your co-worker tries to take credit for the presentation that you were up all night working on. In turn, you support him in his quest to win the latest promotion and sympathetically offer to help when you notice him trying to train his new assistant to use the scanner. Of course, this is not the 80’s and you are not living on the set of Working Girl. You are careful to make impressions with your charm and wit and never with your body or the promise of sex. But climbing the career ladder is sometimes a complex and frustrating journey, and having your own on-site cheerleader definitely seems to make the process more enjoyable.

Related WTF?! Posts
Ping! + Indignation = Jess’s Letter to The New York Times
Non-Date Snapshot #1! The Networking-Non-Date
The (R)emasculation of Modern Men
Wanted: Role Models

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The Super Horny Guy Who Happens To Be Around A Lot

Although you intellectually disagree with everything that he stands for, this guy has the ability to turn you into a singing, dancing, binge drinking, Bon Jovi-loving party girl. He is a consummate party boy who never stops thinking, talking and joking about sex, and he has openly stated his desire to sleep with you, if you ever got drunk enough to give him a chance. Luckily, you know that you shouldn’t, especially considering the rumors you’ve heard about his short attention span and the naked photos of hookups that fill his iPhone.

But even as you turn down The Super Horny Guy with a laugh and an exaggerated eye roll, you find yourself gravitating towards him and the fun, carefree, vivacious woman that you become when you’re around him – one not bogged down by jobs, responsibilities, morals, insecurities, the search for true love, and the fear of having unflattering photos of your Friday night posted on Facebook. You would never exert the effort of emailing or calling The Super Horny Guy directly, but you make a mental note when you hear that he’ll be attending your mutual friend’s party or stopping by the bar where you always seem to bump into him. You share a sexual energy that is fun, light and lacking in long-term potential, and you are easily convinced to have an extra drink or three while in his company. It’s refreshing to have a guy be so open in his attraction to you, even when you know that his fearlessness stems from a belief that the whole world (or at least the whole bar) is his sexual playground.

Related WTF?! Posts
Non-Date Snapshot #2! The Group-Non-Date
I Don’t See Nothing Wrong With a Little Bump and Grind…
Bad Guys vs. Good Guys vs. Nice Guys
Non-Date Snapshot #6! The Play-Non-Date

May 7, 2010

0 F-YEAH! F-YEAH!